Why Does My Husband Stay Out All Night And Come Home Late? (With 10 Solution Tips)

No wife likes it when her husband stays out all night or comes home late. And oftentimes, guys love to hang out with their friends or co-workers for different reasons. Consequently, this is an issue that should be resolved otherwise, it could lead to divorce.

Why Does My Husband Stay Out All Night And Come Home Late At Night?

You must thought again and again, reasons your husband keeps coming home late. Below are 10 possible reasons he could be coming home late or staying out all night:

#1. He Wants To Ignore/Avoid You:

Where your husband stays out all night or comes home late, he could be trying to ignore you or avoid you for obvious reasons. You could have offended him intentionally or unintentionally, and he has decided to keep his cool or tell you that he is not happy indirectly.

#2. Addictions:

If he has a new addiction he is keeping from you, it’s enough reason to keep him out all night or get him to come home late in the night. He could also be working on quitting an addiction and doesn’t want you to know any of it. It could be drug addiction, drinking addiction, or any other kind.

#3. Revenge Mission:

He could be hurt from a past wrong you did to him and had been searching for a means to get back at you. And he believes that staying out all night or coming will get to you and will make you feel worried. Some guys derive joy from seeing their woman concerned and worried about them. If this is the case, don’t fall for the trap. Rather talk things out.

#4. He Wants To Stay Away From Challenges:

There could be too many things to worry about at home and too many things you complain about which he is at loss on how to go about. Sometimes, when someone is overwhelmed by the situation on ground and is constantly blamed for being the cause of the issue on ground, they may stay off completely.

#5. He Is Seeing Someone Else:

If there is another lady he is seeing or there is another lady he is out to get, he could choose to stay out all night or come home late after a date with her. If you suspect he is seeing someone and have proof of it, you have to do something about it. Please, don’t sit quietly. There is something you can do about it.

#6. Has a deadline for a target at work:

A visionary would not mind staying out all night or coming home late when he has a deadline to meet a target at work so that he won’t give excuses. When he is always out all night because of work, and it’s affecting your relationship with him and his responsibility as a husband and a father, you should talk things out with him. It will help solve the issue. Maybe you could get to help him with some of the work or he could employ some help.

#7. Drinking out with friends:

This is an attitude often formed as a bachelor with friends. Now he is married, he isn’t supposed to still keep it. He is supposed to spend more time with you. If he must drink, he must drink out with you. This is what you must talk about with him or see a marriage counselor together.

Again, the fact he is married does not mean he should not spend time with his friends. However, it shouldn’t be so extreme that the relationship between you and him starts dying. The fact you are concerned shows it’s time you talk to him about it.

#8. He’s depressed:

One of the consequences of depression is withdrawal. He could be so depressed and the only way he believes he could heal is by spending time in his favorite spot, doing something he loves, with some of his confidants, staying out all night, or coming home late. One of the things you have to do to help him through this is to make time at home peaceful and beautiful.

#9. He craves some time alone:

It’s probable he neither has any issue with you nor with home, he simply craves some time to be alone or be away from home to some other place he loves. This is similar to the case of a man who said that the reason he stays out all night is because he works all day at home, his home office, and craves some time away from home and his only spare time is at night.

#10. To avoid being the object of criticism:

Do you keep nagging all the time he is at home? Do you keep doing things to make him believe he is the cause of the issues in the marriage? Do you criticize and compare him with others because of his seeming imperfections? He could have chosen to stay out all night or come home late to help him with some time away from home. If this is the case, you have to start learning how to start being more appreciative of your husband and appreciate his little efforts.

My Husband Stay Out All Night And Come Home Late At Night: 10 Solution Tips

Having gone through the likely reasons, below are 10 solution tips to help your relationship with him get better and get him spend more time with you.

#1. Ask Him Why:

Getting to know why he is staying out all night or coming home late in the night is a great start to tackling the issue. You shouldn’t work based on assumptions. You ought to know why he is staying out to know the next step to take. You can ask him direct questions like:

Why are you staying out all night/coming home late?

What can I do to help with the situation?
Do you think it’s normal for spouses to do the same?
How would you feel if I should do the same?

Why don’t you like to take my calls when you are out? Do you think it’s normal and proper?

#2. Ask Him To Take You With Him:

You can ask him to take you with him and listen to his response. He should have no challenge taking you with him at all because you are his friend too.

If he claims his friends are guys, ask him to make it a couples night and ask him to tell his friends to bring their wives or girlfriends too. It would be more fun this way. This way he will still spend time with you and with his friends.

But if he vehemently disagrees to take you with him, you should try out some of the steps below too.

#3. Plan With Him:

Make plans with him – daily plans, weekly plans, monthly plans, and yearly plans on how to help the relationship get better and how to help each other live happier, achieving set goals together.
Plan date nights, games nights, picnics, and other fun activities with him. It’s going to help the both of you stay on track in helping each other live happily instead of staying out all night or coming home late and caring less for each other.
Another plan you should put in place is for him to inform you that he would be staying out all night or coming home late. If he fixes a day for his friends to hang out, he should tell you to keep you prepared ahead of time rather than get you worried about staying out all night.

#4. Plan Your Nights With Friends:

As earlier said, the fact you are married does not mean you shouldn’t hang out with friends; however, it shouldn’t be so extreme that the relationship with your spouse starts dying out. Hanging out with friends at most once a week is healthy. Any other hang-out should be with your spouse.

#5. See A Marriage Counselor Together:

Where the issue is already getting out of hand, visit a marriage counselor together who can advise both you and your husband on how best to resolve the issue based on the peculiarity of your marriage. Every marriage is different and most times different solution tips apply to them. A marriage counselor could prescribe a peculiar solution for your marriage.

#6. Enjoy Your Sleep:

Where he steps out and stays out late without informing you he would be staying out intentionally or unintentionally, don’t starve yourself of good sleep. Eat something good, shower, make your bed, and have your night’s rest. You won’t want to sit worried and restless all night because he is out with the boys.

If you try sleeping but can’t, take some sleeping pills.

#7. Don’t Call Or Text Excessively:

One of the mistakes you will make when your husband is out is bombarding his phone with calls or texts. You shouldn’t give him the impression that you are mad at him and that he would be facing your wrath when he gets back. You should call and text to show that you care and if he doesn’t take your calls, you shouldn’t let that bother you.

#8. Don’t Nag When He Is Back:

When he comes home after staying out all night or coming late, don’t start nagging or making him feel bad and unwelcome. Make his time at home beautiful. He should always miss home when he is away because of you. Respect his person and honor him as your man.

#9. Consider Having Separate Rooms:

He could be dying to have some time alone. You could bring this up as a suggestion, telling him that having separate rooms will help both of you some time alone and privacy too.

#10. Fix Up Some Regulations To Help You Both:

This is to help each person know his responsibility and take responsibility. It will help erase assumptions. It will help each other know when they have done wrong to the other.

This may include:

Fixing a time to lock up doors
Take each person’s calls when you are away.

Text or call whenever it turns out that you won’t be coming home on time and also inform the other of when you will be coming home.
No hanging out more than twice a week.

NB: Every marriage is different. You should not strictly apply what another person did to your marriage. Choose to understand the uniqueness of your marriage and handle it in that manner.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Is It Okay For A Married Man To Stay Out All Night?

It depends on what is keeping him out, the urgency of the matter, and if it’s worth sacrificing the relationship building between the husband and the wife.

Should I Be Mad When My Husband Is Back After Staying Out All Night?

You shouldn’t yell angrily when he is back, rather talk things out with him. Yelling won’t get the issue solved. It will rather leave you even angrier.

What To Do If My Husband Stays Out All Night And Doesn’t Take His Calls

Ask him why he didn’t want to take calls, ask him if you should care about calling him whenever he is out in the night, and tell him that if he wants you to call to check up on him whenever he is out in the night, he should always pick up your calls, otherwise you won’t bother or worry yourself about him and the doors will be shut till morning.

In conclusion, communication is the key because each person gets to say what is in their mind to the other, things are talked out and peace is built.

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Melody Merit

She is a romance writer, blogger and love expert. She believes the world would be a better place if divorce rate is reduced to the barest minimum and homes are of happier marriages. She enjoys reading, writing and helping people live a more fulfilled life. And one of her favorite quotes is, ”What is love if it isn’t for the bad times too?”.